Pros and Cons of R2I

Last week, I got a meeting invite from the SVP of HR regarding my Labor Status. I sensed something was wrong. My heart was in a full panic mode. The moment i stepped in the meeting room, i could hear my heart pounding,feel sweat in my palms. The first words from the SVP's mouth was "Well, there is a problem...but we have a solve for it.I'm sorry. we did a mistake while ad posting and now the USCIS has rejected your labor application. Since you are in your 6th year of H1..there is quite of bit of problem in qualifying for the 365 day rule for re-applying. We might have to ship you to canada for few days if required.". My heart cooled down and actually i even felt a pang of relief. Looking at the bright side,Atleast the labor wasn't rejected because of my qualifications. Since the mistake was done by the HR, they would do all they can to fix this problem. Downside,the one positive thing that i have currently is my pay checks. adhukum aappu. All i can do now is blame my bad time. I also fought with the so called cheapout manager , last week which has made the work environment hell. Now I'm all anxious to think that i might have to return to india, if nothing works out. NOw i have to analyze why i'm so scared to returned to india. Cons : 1) Money 2) Easy Life, can afford a 5 bedroom house and couple of cars. 3) Child's education - lot of access to sports and music. 4) Can give the child a sense of freedom to choose whatever they want to do. 5) Education System - Which gives the child the critical reasoning skills. 6) vetti bandha for my parents - en pullaiyum US -la irukku. 7) Opportunity to visit countries. 8) Child can derive inspiration from People here - they have specific hobbies and they achieve excellence in what they do. 9) excellent universities Pros: 1) Remain closer to family 2) having the sense of certainty. 3) child will develop survival and competitive skills. 4) Can take care of parents and in-laws. 5) There are less opportunities for the child to become drug addict and other teenage problems.

Wordsworth's words for me

Here is the poem "Lines written in early spring" by William Wordsworth. I loved the analysis of this poem from the blog http://rhesponse.blogspot.com/2006/03/what-has-man-made-of-man.html.

If the flowers, birds and trees could be happier by accepting nature , Why a human soul is always unhappy ? Did going against nature's holy plan made the human race , the most successful survivor? Is being unhappy, the path to success?



I HEARD a thousand blended notes,
While in a grove I sate reclined,
In that sweet mood when pleasant thoughts
Bring sad thoughts to the mind.

To her fair works did Nature link
The human soul that through me ran;
And much it grieved my heart to think
What man has made of man.

Through primrose tufts, in that green bower,
The periwinkle trailed its wreaths;
And 'tis my faith that every flower
Enjoys the air it breathes.

The birds around me hopped and played,
Their thoughts I cannot measure:--
But the least motion which they made
It seemed a thrill of pleasure.

The budding twigs spread out their fan,
To catch the breezy air;
And I must think, do all I can,
That there was pleasure there.

If this belief from heaven be sent,
If such be Nature's holy plan,
Have I not reason to lament
What man has made of man?

Spring Fashion !

Today is the official start of spring. Here's my style of officiating it.

My first shoe of color thats not black or brown.



Matching Yellow Top from NY and Company. Did I forget to mention that I'm in love with the Store?

Unconditional love ??

I'm a believer of Charles Darwin's theory of evolution . Every action of a human being is subconsciously motivated by either the purpose of procreation or protecting the genes. Parental affection is considered to be the purest form of love. Love between two people comes a close second. Even behind both these forms of love lies the motivation of procreation and protecting the genes.Every form of love or relationship is based upon certain expectations.
If there is a selfish motive behind every action, then is there unconditional love? Well, I'm not only one who finds unconditional love puzzling. I'm in great company of my favorite tamil writer Sujatha. Recently,I read an essay where he wrote about his colleague (hereinafter referred as ram) who was about 50 years old. Ram was never married. One day , he was all excited and said that he was going to pick up his girlfriend and kids. Later, Sujatha came to know that ram and his girlfriend were in love 20 years ago. Due to family circumstances, girlfriend got married to a different person, had kids and settled in australia. She was returning to india upon the death of her husband. All these 20 years, Ram had remained in touch with his girlfriend and her kids through letters. Even after 20 years, the love he had for his girfriend never faded and he had a big heart to accept his girlfriend and her kids. Now, what motivation he would have had to remain single? Though i think he was stupid to have not carried on with his life, I'm puzzled and amazed by his unconditional love.

Fall Back... Spring Forward

Today morning, I heard the news that one of my hubby's newly married cousin is pregnant. I immediately broke into tears. I did the same even when i heard my cousin got green card after being in US for just year.Tears were not of joy ofcourse,.,but they were not of jealousy either. I'm genuinely happy for my hubby's cousin and my cousin. Its just because i'm so frustrated. I feel like a failure, because they are five years younger to me and they have achieved more than me.I don't know what I am doing wrong. These are things of luck. May be Iam not lucky. I actually fell back in my career, my personal life during this fall. Hoepfully this spring brings me some luck and moves my life forward. These past 3 years have been like somebody hit a pause button on my life.

Humiliations at work are becoming unbearable.. taking the rescue of AR Rahman and Ilaiyaraja.. I 'm having my earphones all day long.

I'm planning to focus my mind on enjoying poetry,appreciating nature and all things good.

Here is my attempt at haiku about spring.

பனி தெளியும் ! புல் விரியும் !
மொட்டை மரத்தில் இலை துளிர்க்கும் !
என் வாழ்வில் வசந்தம் தான் வருமோ ?

Mall rounds

This weekend , I took a trip to the mall with my DH.sss. ..appa..How tired can can get after 5 min of being in the mall? So tired that ,We found ourselves standing up in the queue at startbucks. I tried the cinnamon dolce latte for the first time and fell in love with it.

People watching is so much fun. We sat on the couch in the center of the mall and sipped our lattes for about an hour.

There was a teenage kid ,who sat in front of us ,glued to his ipad the whole time . I wonder why he came to the mall . As they walk past, Two cute girls said hi to him twice . He didn't bother much to look at them. Must be his sisters???

Usually, I hear in desis parties about how the gora kids behave nicely in public. That afternoon , I saw atleast half a dozen gora kids with all kinds of behavior that is not so nice ,lying down on the floor, kicking and screaming. Whats funny was a kid was lying face down and his grandpa stood there texting. May be to mom?

Don't get mad...get even!

I was terrified of the asthama sani, and various astrologer's prediction that I will either suffer a job loss or face a lots of insults and humiliations at work. Exactly as they predicted I'm suffering a lot of humiliations at work right now. One year ago, i envisioned a project that would help the business a lot. I expected that doing the project would get me credit that i so deserve.Changing Times. One of my big boss's left and the whole project became a nightmare. I had to work my ass off with people whom i even remotely like to work with. I kept my mind focused and did my best. At the least, I wasn't expecting a defamation . But the news now is, the test lead (How do they even become leads ? ) that i butt head with 3 months ago is planning to frame me in the lessons learned meeting. Initially, I planned to retaliate by pointing out that she needed a lot of coaching from me to do her job . I have about 300 emails to show as proof. Then a thought struck me. Last time, when i pointed fingers at her, i felt really bad for months later though she was at fault clearly. Now, I'm planning to praise the BA , the PM and the test lead in the meeting. I never like to say things that i don't mean. But I think its high time that i arrive in the reality. It is simple psychology.Will you throw shit on somebody who praises you? Even if they are that shameless, at least i will be relieved of guilt. Actually,I care less about what they think.So I guess it would work.